This is Fear...A Night in the Field

Yeah, the title might seem like it came straight from a horror movie, but honestly that's what this night felt like for me and the 2 others involved. Looking back, I can laugh (a lot) at it now, the 3 of us have a great memory and bond because of it, and most of all, God has used it to show me something about fear and trust.

Fear, it's something none of us want to face. Ever. It doesn't make anybody comfortable. We want to run from it, or whatever is causing it. And that's exactly what I tried to do on this particular night.

Now, hunker yourself down for a rollercoaster of a story.

It was our second or third night in the village. You see, the village is in the middle of the African bush and there is no electricity. Put those two together and what you get at night (starting around 6pm) is a dark sky dotted and speckled with thousands of stars. The Milky Way is visible and if you look close enough, you can see the international space station circling the earth. Cool, right? Yeah, I'm totally a "look at the stars" type of person so my natural instinct is to grab a friend and a blanket, find a good spot, and look at the stars. And so I did, just as I had done the night before.

My (new at the time) friend Macie (who is 16 and has lived in Zam for 10 years) and I went to a spot not too far from our mud huts and watched the stars. By not too far, I seriously mean less than 20 yards. We were talking about life and God and all things good. Not shortly after, our friend Ashlyn joined us. I have no recollection of time that night, but what happened next was easily the scariest moment of my life. I'm not exaggerating. All of a sudden, Ashlyn lifts her head and says "Y'all, something is coming" as we heard growling very close to us. Macie and I sat up quickly and saw a small dark figure/shadow merely feet away. Yes, it was growling.

Okay, people, if you're smarter than me, you probably already know what happened. Let me remind you that we are in the middle of nowhere bush village of Africa where wild/stray/rabid animals do roam. In our minds, this was a rabid pig, a stray dog, or a wolf. Friends, we are not messing around.

The reactions that the three of us had were all very different. My instinct was to get up as fast as I could so that I can start running, while fumbling with my phone to get a light on to see what kind of animal I'm up against, all while screaming (and I mean screaming) "oh my gosh" over and over again.

Macie's reaction was to remain on the ground and start slowly scooting away. No screaming. No running. No trying to even figure out what this was (she thought it was the pig option), just creating distance in a calm fashion.

Ashlyn's reaction is the one that confused us the most, made us laugh the hardest, but also the one that taught me the most looking back. Ash decided to lay there. Seriously. She did not move. She laid back down under the blanket and did nothing but stay right where she was. WHO DOES THAT?!?! Who is faced with potentially getting attacked by an animal and does nothing but lay there? Only Ash.

What felt like minutes later but was really probably less than 5 seconds, we heard a child's laughter. We realized that it was Naomi, the daughter of our village dad, who had crawled quietly through the field, knowing we were there, just to scare us. I've never been so relieved and yet still so shocked all at once in my life. We laughed for a very long time, all while our heart rates and blood pressure began to lower again (from very high numbers), and our minds began to process what had just happened. Immediately, we all recognized that we had felt extreme fear. That was the scariest moment for all of us, but what we each decided to do with it is what continues to make us laugh and teach me something about life and God.

You see, we do the same thing in real life (this was real life but it's not everyday you are nearly attacked by a "rabid animal" in a field in Africa). We have fears. There are things in our lives that make us uncomfortable, anxious, afraid. What do we do? Well, most people are like Macie and I. Like me, we choose to run as fast as we can away from whatever is facing us: the challenge, the fear, the trial, the unknown. We stumble and we scream and we try to figure out exactly what it is while still running as fast as we can in the opposite direction.

Others are like Macie, they see it in front of them, they are afraid, and they choose to back away slowly. They aren't ready to face it or get close to it but they don't know if it's appropriate to run yet or not. If they run, it might come after them even harder. So they push themselves away from it, creating distance, trying to escape safely and unscathed.

Maybe, just maybe we should all be a little more like Ashlyn. In the moment, what Ashlyn did made no sense. We asked her why she didn't move, why she literally just laid there. She said something along the lines of "well, whatever it was was already there, I knew I couldn't get away from it so I decided my best bet was to stay still and let whatever was going to happen, happen." What Ashlyn did didn't make any sense to anybody. But maybe it should. You see, Ashlyn (whether she knew it in the moment or not) was willing to face directly what was right in front of her, fear and all.

When there's something to face in our lives, something so horrible and scary that all we want to do is run from it or at the very least, create distance and avoid it, maybe that's when we should instead just be still. Maybe that's when we should choose to stay. Stay right where you are. Take cover under the blankets. Find refuge in the arms of your Father. Trust that you're going to be okay. Yes, it's scary. No, you don't even know the entirety of what you're facing. It's dark, you might even feel alone (thank goodness for star-watching friends, amen?).

Like Ashlyn did on this night in Zambia, can we all start to be still a little more and face what life throws at us a little better? Can we recognize that, whatever it is, it's already there in front of you? No matter how hard you run or how much you try to figure out exactly what it is, it's still there. No matter how sneakily you try to avoid it or cover it up, it's still there. Can be a little more ready to face it? Can we recognize that sometimes the best option is to be still and take cover in God's arms? He knows. He knows it's scary. God feels it with you. He knows you don't know what to do. He knows what is about to happen. But guess what? He already knows the outcome. You might feel like you're under attack, but you're not alone in the unknown. He's right there to cover you.

"The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14

Will you trust that?